Is it that you love them? That you are proud of them? That you’re angry, hurt or disappointed?
I’m friends with a very self aware and mature man who can’t bring himself to sign "love" on a birthday card to his parents. I asked him how he would feel if his children never told him they loved him. He admitted that he’d feel terrible, but still can’t verbalize to his parents that he loves them.
What’s the most difficult thing to say to your parents or children? Can you visualize yourself having this conversation with them?
About olivia
Olivia Kuhn-Lloyd believes in the reach of business to effect real social change. She works with companies who are forging a new paradigm of cause capitalism and writes about the power of consumer choice at Cause+Capitalism.
She managed international trade advocacy with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in Washington, D.C., working with both foreign ambassadors and national business owners to tell their stories.
She left the Chamber to spend a year in the Marshall Islands as a volunteer teacher and journalist. When she returned to the States, she worked with nonprofits and grantmakers in Los Angeles on program development, capital campaigns and executive coaching.
Olivia now works with businesses to integrate social cause at a fundamental level and build community around the product or service. She lives in Santa Monica, CA.
Great question. I am most comfortable expressing my true self to my parents. I can tell them that I love them, I am proud of them, that I am grateful to them for everything, that I owe everything that I am today to them.When I am angry or hurt they get too see my worst too. I can smile and laugh with them as well as cry in front of them. The most difficult thing to express till date is to say BYE when I leave or when they leave after being together for some time.
I can say any thiong to them but i try not to touch their emotions in a negative way…
I do my best in that however…… this process is not successful 100%
you know that the difference in one generation makes a lot of conflicts which is very hard to avoid it all.
Most difficult thing I find to tell my parents is…..actually forbidding them to eat some heavy oil and sugar stuff and asking them to adhere to discipline in diet.
It is funny cuz in childhood i was being disciplined by 'em between sports and study; and now tables are turned.
They used to worry about me , now i worry about them.
I used to complain ,"you dont let me play ."
Now they complain,"You dont let us eat."
It is not that they dont observe any discipline but it is less than optimal as much is required for them medically.They 'LOVE' eating 'ALL' the things which are not good for their heart, diabetes and hypertension.
They are self-disciplinized them upto 60 % , the moment I am away , they indulge!:D
Their health is my major concern.
I understand they are right in their own perspective. We take minimum two meals per week which are heavy and 'real' downright indulgence so as to sustain their interest in controlled diet.I dont want to make 'them' feel controlled.But they seem to like indulgence daily…..!!!!
My mom often says,"You are a Dining-Table cop."
Olivia, By the grace and help of god, I personally am made such that, I can say all my thoughts and feeling to my parents as well as to my child.
Just the tone and emotions of my speaking changes.
It becomes difficult to talk about socially taboo items, but by the god grace, I do speak about them.
I feel I am quite aligned with my parents and child.
Thanks for post, thanks for question, thanks for making me more aware.
Love
Rajesh
Growing up my parents were not demonstrative at all. They never hugged or kissed us let alone tell us they loved us. I am lovey, huggy, kissy with my kids and tell them I love them 5 million times a day as a result or my upbringing, but I cannot tell my dad (my mom has transitioned) I love him. He even says it now, but for me back to him is just weird and not authentic so I don't say it to him in response. And it is sort of odd because I tell friends I love them all the time, because I do. It isn't that I don't love my dad. Strange I suppose.
I really thought I could talk about and express just about anything to my daughter until today. During her homeschooling in science it was time to teach her about reproduction and how male sperm fertilizes the female egg. I don