After an intense conversation where obscenities were exchanged with a passenger, a Jetblue flight attendant, Steven Slater, grabbed a beer, deployed the inflatable emergency chute and slid down to freedom. “I’ve had it!” he shouted. Later the police arrived at his home to arrest him, but he had a smile on his face…
The flight wasn’t particularly difficult, so Slater’s day was routine. Why did he snap? And even more interesting: Slater is getting great support on message boards and social networks from people who congratulate him on his dramatic exit. Why are people sympathetic? His attorney blames it on stress and we can all identify with stress triggers like: the economy, the heat, global terrorism, lack of sleep, rudeness, a weakened immune system, caregiving for aging parents and a demanding job?
What happened to Slater seems analogous to a stress fracture one experiences while walking down a few steps – a delayed reaction to overdoing it. Stress, both physical and emotional, is cumulative. The small stressors accumulate to create a tipping point. This is why people from all walks of life snap. But most of us don’t have that emergency exit or dare to use it.
Recognizing workplace stress:
Beware: Bad moods are contagious at the workplace according to research conducted by Dr. Sigal Barsade from the University of Pennsylvania. Someone taps his foot or rolls his eyes while you speak and you are ready to boil over. This is why it is important to move away from toxicity. The passenger who didn’t listen to Slater about not opening the overhead storage while the plane was taxiing challenged his ego. Slater might have felt trivialized. But in reality no one can trivialize you.
The problem is that most of us feel like an unimportant person, desperately trying to create a name for himself because he feels that he is not good enough – and of course, this type of person will never feel accomplished and satisfied at work. It helps to remind yourself that you are part of a team and someone else can carry the ball when you feel depleted.
How to cope:
* Adhere to your minimal daily requirements for balance. You can change a bad mood with food, music, a walk or a good laugh.
* Focus on something new or different at work to break the negative energy – what task would you rather think about?
* Use the persuasive power of the positive to change your brain lock. Sit comfortably, close your eyes and breathe naturally trying to make the inhalation last a couple of seconds longer to get rid of the toxicity. Give yourself a good personal message like what you appreciate this minute – redirect your brain to happiness.
* Be respectful to all your co-workers and clients, even the negative ones. Some people just need to announce their reality and when you show them a little compassion, they do the right thing. Perhaps the passenger who ignored Slater’s instructions had her own stressors. Hearing him bark an order awakened an old hurt fueling her rude response.
* Don’t look to win or lose an argument – seek an equitable compromise. Everyone self-justifies, including you.
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