When to get out

By on September 6, 2009 in Balance

Whether it is a job or a relationship, are you not sure when enough is enough? Here are some cues:

• Working and communicating seems much more difficult than it needs to be.
• You always feel out of sorts and not quite comfortable.
• You’ve come to realize that you are there out of obligation rather than a true desire.
• You feel worse every day and better when you leave.
• The environment is negative and zaps your positive energy.
• You find yourself to be unproductive.
• You seem to have very different values.
• You’ve already spoken to a lawyer.
• Your eyes are wandering and you are starting to wonder what it would be like elsewhere.
• The time spent does not seem worth it.
• The economy has got you scared to leave.
• You believe it will never change.
• You have determined that every wrong thing is a sign to run now and fast.

Sometimes in a relationship or at work we imagine an amazing environment. It can be heartbreaking and stressful to quickly find it is not at all that you imagined. Before you jump ship, see where your expectations might have been too high, where you might equally be at fault, clearly communicate your dissatisfaction, and consider that they may be equally unhappy with you.

It’s always best to secure a job first or build up some savings (Suze Orman http://www.suzeorman.com/index.cfm says your emergency fund should equal 8 months of salary). If all else fails, get the heck out of there. Nothing will change if you truly believe this is not where you are suppose to be.

Sandra A. Daley is a life and career coach in NYC. If you have questions or comments about when to get out contact Sandra at info@sandradaley.com or visit her at http;//www.sandradaley.com. If you liked this article, you may also enjoy “De-Clutter”

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties or you alter yourself meeting them. /Phyllis Bottome

About Sandra Daley

Proud wife and mother of two beautiful girls. My life blood.

I am the hottest lifestyle and career coach in NYC, founder of Wecreate! and Liberation Theatre Company I live in Harlem, New York. I move through day to day - moment to moment. I find when I think too far ahead, I worry  and my heart races.

I recently created Dream It. Plan It. Claim It!: An Extra-Preneurial Workshop for Women. WeCreate! is the way I help others get in touch with their power, their God-given gifts, and align themselves with their purpose. Be patient! Be vigilant! and trust that only good is meant for your life.

Liberation Theatre Company is a commitment to emerging playwrights of African descent. LTC is a nurturing home base that provides resources for playwrights to achieve excellence in their work and ultimately bring a play, they can be proud of, to full production.

 

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when to get out

By on February 2, 2009 in Balance, Living Your Purpose, Success, Work & Life

well hello everyone. I have been a tad busy. i started working in france and so far…i’m not liking it. it seems much more difficult than it needs to be. so i’m trying to decide whether to stay or go.

I share an office with someone. from day one it has felt uncomfortable. but then before i accepted the job I kept wishing and hoping they would not offer it because it seemed lik eI would feel obligated to accept it. that was true! it has allowed me to continue staying here in France. but i feel gradually worse every day…until i leave the office. I find I am ver very unproductively because I cannot stand the environment I am in. The people I work with seem to be much more interested in socializing and being heard than they are in getting the work done. My office mate in particular is someone I have absolutely nothing in common with and really have grown in 2 months to not like talking to her. for example, she has been sick quite a bit, and will come to the office and talk about detail after detail to EVERYONE who calls or comes by.  I think I hear the word "sick" about 100 times a day. maybe that’s why I have been feeling sick? I feel like it is counterproductive. like the negativity here is just draining away all of my positive energy. 

I spoke with a lawyer the other day to confirm that I can quit my job and not lose my right to stay in France at this point. i’d like to look for another job….and with my schedule it is a little hard. well impossible. it takes 1h30 mins to get to work and another 1h30 to get back!!! and that’s on a good day.

my job basically requires that I write…alot. but my officemate is constantly on the phone and on speaker phone….dials every phone call on speakerphone. she constantly has people in and out of the office and it really makes me cring.

so what do you guys think. is the economy a crutch? I mean by staying am I using the economy as a crutch. is the lesson to learn (like seth godin says) to get out of the dip when you know it will not change?  Many many things have gone wrong since I started this job. should i take those things as signs that it is not where I am supposed to be??? I’m interested in opinions

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About kimbrulait

Kimberly has a Bachelor of Science in Liberal Studies with minors in Political Science and Philosophy and just completed a Master of Management and Economy in Paris, France. Kimberly has over 12 years of experience in marketing and business development across an array of industries including; consumer goods, financial services, fashion, luxury goods, architecture, engineering and technology services. She has lived in Canada, the United States and France.
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2 Responses to when to get out

  1. dymty February 2, 2009 at 9:31 am #

    Hi Kimberly,

    Sorry to hear that you feel you must endure the conditions you describe.

    Is there another office that you could move to? Have you discussed your situation with a superior, or with their superior? How about a genuine conversation with your officemate?

    These may be options, but there may be other, underlying, even non-work environment issues causing your discomfort. We are sometimes bothered by superficial circumstances when in reality, there is a deeper discord that requires our focus. Our minds are good at distracting us from really deep, sensitive issues by manufacturing petty annoyances. Which is not to say that annoying people don't exist! But for the most part, when we're healthy, we tend to look more compassionately at those kinds of situations and deal with them constructively. It's when we're feeling 'stuck', and simple solutions won't do, that we may need to look a bit deeper.

    Good luck, and keep asking questions!

    Phillip

  2. kimbrulait June 23, 2009 at 5:08 pm #

    Hey Phillip,

    Well I know my post was long ago… The environment just kept getting worse. Then I realized I was the 8th person in 6 years. The person before me quit after two weeks. I wanted to quit after the first day. But I have realized, more than anything, I was really not focused on what I really wanted to do. I was focused on buying time. I wasn't ready to move…and I needed a way to stay in France and the opportunity presented itself. I've realized I'm a perfectionist…and I had admitting mistakes. I was so excited about the opportunity that I ignored my instincts, took the job and stayed.

    But when I realized how much it was physically impacting me…I took a step back. Long story short….I quit.

    What you say is true. Part of the reason I personally cannot ignore the disturbances is that I realize: a) the situation will not change (did what you said and talked to people), b) its not my career focus, passion, dream, c) some people can stick to a lot of commitments like marriage and jobs (etc) for legal reasons….I am too passionate. I have to follow my heart. And my drive…well my drive drives me to want to achieve as much as I can. I can't seem to just sit day after day in a dead-end. But I'm guessing to understand what I mean…you'd have to understand the French public system of job security. Seniority trumps all.