Who Are You?

It’s possible to let our titles define who we are. Even subtler than “Office Manager,” or “VP of Sales,” for example, these titles can go much deeper.  Replace ’titles’ with what we call ourselves, or how we describe ourselves. Whenever we tell others, or more importantly, when we tell ourselves, what or who we are, we automatically preclude being anything else. We have defined who and what we are. We pigeon-hole ourselves into creating an automatic response to the world based on some pre-defined persona at any given moment.

 

            Say, for example, I’m reading an article that outlines the benefits of drinking plenty of water; I could tell myself that “I’m not a big water-drinker.” In essence, I’ve automatically excluded myself from any of the benefits that the article touts simply because ‘that’s not who I am’. I’ve let the definition of who I am limit my potential.

 

            The same is true of what we know, or at least, what we think or believe we know. If we believe we already know something, we run the risk of blocking out other facts or perspectives. If we say we know something, logic dictates that we already know it and therefore have no reason to explore any further. If history can teach us anything, it’s that nothing can ever be known absolutely for certain. Things change, and new facts come to light. We use to believe that the sun revolved around the earth.  ‘Facts’ were presented to prove it!  But some decided to move beyond the ‘known’ and explore further and discover new details, information that was different from what was already ‘known’.

 

            I think it might be helpful to remind myself that “I don’t know.” If I keep that fresh in my mind, I’ll continue to question and discover. If I continue to think “I do know,” I can just dust my hands off and be done with it, just like after burying something deep in the earth, never to be seen or thought of again. But, how realistic is that? If I am convinced that I already know the answer to something, and that I have nothing new to learn because I already know it, I’ve funneled myself into a smaller and smaller pre-defined space. I’ve eliminated all other possibilities. I’ve become stuck. Imagine what would happen if my health or relationships began to deteriorate? What if my quality of life in general began to suffer? What then? If I already know and don’t need to know any more, it’s highly unlikely that my situation will improve. It’s like the old saying about the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. By reminding myself that I don’t know, I leave the door open to new possibilities.

 

            As far as who I am, I think I’ll just stop at “I am.” Any more than that is like carrying around a backpack full if identities. Imagine a person with a giant backpack strapped to his back, the size of an office building. That’s what we become. Stuffed inside are all these titles and definitions of who we are, or at least, who we’re supposed to be. That’s a lot to carry around, and in my mind, a huge burden. Yes, we are all these people, but are we really?  Do we have to be?  Imagine how much lighter my backpack will be if the only things in it are the words “I am.”