http://t5sdaughter.blogspot.com/
(What would you do if you were told you had no right to access information about your own identity? From a cheeky little girl, to a determined young woman; this is my story.)
Monday, October 19, 2009
"Loss
It’s been a tough few weeks & I’ve been reminded again about my "old friend grief" (A good friend told me this week that’s how she refers to grief, I like the term). Everyone experiences it, lives with it. I’m sitting with it now & it has got me to thinking of T5 again.
A week ago today my grandfather passed away. He lived a good, long life. He was the only grandfather I have ever known. He is also my dad’s father. We weren’t incredibly close, but we shared so many years together (going camping & fishing during Summers) & up until I was 15 I thought he was my biological grandfather anyway. So that never really factored into it. But his passing has meant that I’ve been forced to reflect on what it all means, and it has not been easy at all.
Being away from home now, living in London, doesn’t help matters. I’ve missed my dad & my family back in Melbourne so much. I’ve realised how much they mean to me, not that I ever take them for granted. I wished I could have said goodbye to my Nannu (Maltese for Grandfather).
It made me think about my other wishes. How I wish I could have had the chance to say hello to my other Grandfathers – my mum’s father who passed away when I was a baby & T5′s father, whom I have never met & probably will never meet. It opened up all of that pain, that raw, primal pain of not knowing my own father still. Feelings of abandonment arose again and it has all been a bit much."
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http://t5sdaughter.blogspot.com/
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