With the release of the movie Milk last winter came the release of a gay hero for a new generation, Dustin Lance Black. The young, cute gay activist, and brilliant writer of Milk went on to win an Oscar for his work. In accepting the award, Black spoke so eloquently from his heart that millions worldwide hung onto his every word, many of us weeping with him as he spoke of the queer struggle. After, even Oprah lapped it all up like a kitten at a bowl of milk when Black was on her show.
Fast forward to this past Friday and what to we find courtesy of Perez Hilton but pictures of Black not just having sex but having the big ‘no-no’ sex (at least, supposedly, in the gay world): bareback.
For some, the image of Black as a hero has been challenged. Aren’t we all supposed to know better in this time of HIV AIDS, especially gay men like Black who grew up with the benefits of education? What kind of message is Black sending out to the queer youth he so adamantly supports who might stumble upon these pictures with no context to them?
Black said in a statement Saturday that the incident embarrassed him, and I’m sure it has. But it’s intersting to me that photos of him barebacking even exist. Methinks you have to be pretty comfortable in the midlle of a sex act you are engaging in to have someone take a picture. Perhaps it wasn’t the first time Black had unprotected sex, perhaps it won’t be the last, though I bet he will have a strict ‘no cameras’ allowed policy here on in.
Is Black’s hero status tarnished? One of the biggest issues I have in the approach towards HIV AIDS prevention is this silly notion that gay men (and for some reason not straight people, but that’s for another day) should be Condom Idols. We should never make a mistake – we know better. We should never tire of condoms – we know better. We should never slip up in the heat of passion – we know better. WE should never be in love – we know better. We should never bareback just because it’s sex at it’s most instinctive – we know better.
Dustin Lance Black may be feeling embarrassed right now thanks to a couple of people including Perez Hilton, but the revelation of his all-too-typical behaviour as a normal gay man shines a light on the humanity behind every gay man or person in general who engages in unsafe sex. We may know better, but we can’t always do better, and Black reminded us of this Friday.
For that, he’s still a hero.
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