If you who have been following these posts over the past year and a half, you will not be surprised to see the range of comments that show up after each article. Some are welcoming of the perspectives, some write of how these kinds of ideas have helped them through some difficulty or another, and some question in a sincere manner, seeking to understand or challenge a perspective. And then there are those who seem to delight in distorting what has been written, claim that holding a positive focus is just "snake oil," and suggest that these approaches to life are part of a fundamental problem in American life.
My favorites are the folks who like to rise up on an anonymous soap box and preach against either the ideas or the authors or both, even going so far as to accuse those of us who offer this work for free on the Huffington Post as somehow ripping people off in what one commenter calls a "pay to play paradigm."
I have tried playing with the critics and their criticisms, sometimes with teasing titles (Why Positive Thinking Just Doesn’t Work or Are You Intelligent or Just Intellectual); sometimes, I have tried taking on the critics by calling out the inconsistencies, distortions or even the apparent hypocrisy.
This week, I decided to try a more direct approach: my fundamental proposition is that once the basics are handled (food, water, shelter, safety), what most of us long for in life is the experience of being loved and the opportunity to be loving.
Having worked in the arena of personal and professional fulfillment most of my life, I was struck with a rather simple and yet profound awareness as I was reading The Shack this past week. While I have worked to establish loving and caring in my own life and shared ideas about this with others over the past 35 years or so, I was struck by the fact that I haven’t really addressed this most important aspect of living in these articles – or, at least not directly.
In particular, this passage from The Shack (page 99) awakened me to yet another level of awareness.
(Awakening is an interesting notion, by the way: many who work with awareness will use the term. How about this for a concept: To awaken, you must have been asleep. However, to have been asleep, it would seem that you must have previously been awake. Hmmm. Much of this work can be characterized as what I call the process of "becoming more of who you already are." A bit much for a simple blog post, but I put it forward anyway – perhaps the notion will resonate for you). Anyway, the passage:
Consider our little friend here. . . . Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around. . . . You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around.
Now that’s really quite profound. Indeed, it’s pretty hard to look at a nursery full of new born babies, and pick out the ones that don’t want to be loved, or who don’t want to be loving for that matter.
Again, it’s beyond the scope of a simple blog post to fully develop this theme, so perhaps you will grant me the benefit of a simple assertion: most people would prefer to experience loving and to be loved over just about any other qualitative experience in life.
My work with thousands of people over the years suggests that just about every human communication comes from a context of loving and caring, however twisted that expression might seem to some.
Here’s a simple example: have you ever been angry? Of course you have. Have you ever been angry about something you don’t care about?
Continue reading on The Huffington Post
This is an outstanding article, Thank you. I do hope you will expand and fully develop your theme in more articles to come…I think it could bring greater compassion and realizations to everyone who is blogging or a commenter to a blog…
In referencing to be loving or loved, and connecting that with the kind of comments you hear after you have shared your ideas and articles was very interesting. They way people write, what they write about, and the tone of comments, reveal the state of consciousness one is in, be it awake in love, or not. I am always amazed that a very good intention expressed and shared in a blog can be bombarded by one who has not fully connected to that good intention within him/'herself, and with a view of looking at life sort of speak, half empty instead of half full….but that very individual is the one who really is crying to be loved, even when it's comes in the form of cynicism, skepticism and sarcasm. That is when in heightened awareness we turn on the flood gate of compassion in communication, as it is most important to know how to respond in being the loving one to the one who is calling to be loved….
communication does not need to be in the form of debate, it can be seen as open line to sharing thoughts and ideas that connect each one of us. We are all innately capable of sharing thoughts and ideas wisely- This kind of communicating gives each of us, blogger or commenter, an opportunity to be loved and be loving…..as both are rendering the fulfillment of love in this human experience-
With heartfelt gratitude and loving regards,
Gyanama
I adore the perfect balance of both, loving and being loved.
Have you ever been on a see-saw with another person and became perfectly balanced? Do you remember the moment, just looking at each other in complete harmony?
That's it. All around us are clues to help us understand.
Love,
Jules
Hi Jules,
That is a wonderful analogy…Being on a see saw is fun isn't it. This is a beautiful way of looking at communication…. It also brings to mind seeing my two pups sparring with wagging tails- It's light hearted and fun and yet making each stronger by the play of sparring..
I have several good friends that I meet with monthly and we discuss everything, from everyday happenings to politics to Global concerns to metaphysics- What I so adore in these meetings, is the way we communicate with one another….It is always harmonious even when we may be seeing things from a different perspective. There is a genuine thread of love and non judgment that remains through our entire conversations. It's that thread that keeps the balance and the conversation free and fun loving….
The essential key is that each one of us is very aware of who the other is….at the deepest level, a reflection of Self, being shared…..
Nice to share with you too Jules-and thanks again to Russell—
Love,
Gyanama