Your relationship with your body can be the key to help you discover the truth of your being. If you have struggled with your body image, if you have struggled with negative thoughts about your body and yourself, you might be thinking I am crazy: “What? This body? This body that I think is too fat, too old; too this and not enough that – this body can help me discover the truth of my being? This body can point me in the direction of enlightenment? Are you nuts???”
I will furthermore contend that not only your relationship with your individual body, but in fact society’s objectification of the human body, can, in fact, help you along the path to ultimate freedom. The very media messages that many blame for objectifying women, the very images that are responsible for provoking and contributing to eating disorders and self-hatred in young girls and boys, can be used to help you discover your inherent beauty and value.
Before you say I am complete insane, please take a short journey with me. Join me on a journey as we explore our relationship with our bodies. Watch as our bodies, and indeed ourselves, move from being a subject to an object to a subject to an object to a subject, to the final and ultimate realization that you are both and neither. Your body is both the object and the subject, and yet beyond both. Okay – here we go:
When you are a young child, the relationship with your body is that of subject. For most young children, there is no separation between the body and the body. The mind doesn’t think of the body as separate some how – it doesn’t objectify it. The mind-body organism operates as one, unbroken entity. Imagine a new born, even, before there is the cognitive ability to differentiate between self and other, much less between mind and body.
There comes a point, however, when the mind separates itself from the body and begins to treat the body as an object. This is especially true when there is a struggle with body image and or weight. The exact age that this occurs varies, although it appears to be happening at increasingly young ages.
The mind identifies with the body, meaning that one’s sense of identity becomes dependent and contingent on the existence of the body. The mind also begins to use it as a barometer of self-worth. Consider the recent story my assistant shared about her young daughter:
Recently, I was having a conversation with a neighbor of mine who I think is attractive, and super nice! My daughter came up just as our conversation about eyelashes was ending. What she heard was my neighbor expressing her desire for eyelash extensions and how they are very expensive etc. I quickly tried to end the conversation and not draw attention to the subject. I even repeated to my neighbor in my daughter’s presence something I learned from your website, " Thank you God for making me just the way that I am"! This is a daily mantra in our house as my daughter is getting closer to the teenage years and has already had some questions about body image. Two hours later, out of the clear blue, my daughter says, " Mommy, do I have short or long eyelashes?" I was noticeably taken aback but quickly replied that everyone is born with the eyelashes that God wants them to have and that hers were just perfect and I did not believe in too long or too short! She was satisfied with my answer but I was sad for her that she spent the last two hours dwelling on eyelashes which are really meant to protect our eyes right?
Just as this example illustrates, the mind learns to discriminate and judge the body as an object to be analyzed and critiqued. This initial split, this objectification of the body, the mind creating the body as an object to be evaluated, can create an immense amount of pain and suffering.
This first-phase objectification of the body can lead to a whole host of maladies and problems, both physical and mental. As an object, the body is seen as something separate from the mind, something that can either be controlled or cannot be controlled, depending on the particular situation. For example, in conditions such as anorexia, there is the initial belief and experience that the body can be controlled. When this turns to compulsive eating, there is the opposite experience – the body is completely out of control. The body may develop a host of maladies and illnesses. This phase is marked by an underlying pain and agony due to the initial split. The body is seen as an object and as such diminishes the underlying value of the person who is believed to inhabit this body-object.
The first stage of healing, then, is in reclaiming the body as the subject. This is done by recognizing that the body is an expression of the beauty of the universe and that you, whatever your body’s shape, size, health, etc. are inherently beautiful, lovable, and valuable. There is a reclaiming, if you will, a pulling back of the body into the Self. It is a realization that the body was created from the limitless perfection that creates worlds. As such, your body is inherently perfect and beautiful. Your body is not some foreign object to be controlled; rather it is an expression of the underlying cosmos of which you are a most magnificent part. Thus the initial split between the mind and the body begins to heal.
Yet this is only the beginning. As one delves deeper, it is discovered that perhaps the body is an object, but not in the painful and negative sense of the previous phase. As one hones the ability to witness life’s events with detachment, there is the realization that life simply happens – life is a continued series of happenings. According to Advaita philosophy, there is no “doer”, rather all is being done. When the mind remains unattached and uninvolved, the body carries on about its business with amazing finesse and perfection. Food is digested, the immune system protects, the nervous system interprets, all happens effortlessly, easily, without the least bit of intervention on the part of the mind.
You as the witness observe the body operating with this effortless perfection. So in a sense the body once again becomes an object. As the witness you are detached and aloof from both the body and the mind, observing them operate but not becoming involved. In this phase, however, there is no pain based on a sense of objectification because there is no artificial split between Self and body. There is an underlying sense of appreciation and affection for all that is observed, whatever be its nature.
Continuing along on this journey, the body seems to once again appear as a subject. It is discovered that everything is consciousness. The body is consciousness; the mind is consciousness; thoughts are consciousness; the environment is consciousness. Every thing is consciousness. And you are this consciousness. You at your essence are this consciousness. In the words of the ancient rishis – You are That, I am That, This is That, and That is all there is.
Ultimately there is the realization that the body is both subject and object, and yet neither. Everything that you can perceive, anything that you can taste, touch, smell, hear, or see, it is not real – it is an imagining. You are beyond all experience; you are beyond all imagining. You are the unlimited, unbounded potential that gives rise to all experience, to the world of form and phenomenon. Yet you are not this world; you are beyond. In the words of one teacher, there is consciousness-in-movement and consciousness-at-rest. It is all consciousness. That which can be perceived and experienced is consciousness-in-movement and by its very nature is transient and impermanent. There is consciousness-at-rest, which cannot be experienced, but is the potential of all that was, is, and is to come.
Therefore, you realize that you are the ultimate subject and the ultimate object. You are the artist and the artwork. You are the potential that creates the body-mind and everything else in the phenomenal world. Yet you are beyond all experience. Where this ultimately leads is to the infinite unfolding of love for all, for you realize that all is yourself.
Ready to begin your journey? Post your intent on how you plan on loving your body and loving your life today.
Just joined the series? Read Sarah Maria’s first blog post of this two-week series here
About the Author
Sarah Maria is the author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life. The book outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body and yourself. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, so that true and lasting healing can occur. Click here to purchase your copy and begin to love your body today! To learn more about Sarah Maria and her work, you can visit her websites at www.sarahmaria.com and www.breakfreebeauty.com
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