Your pain holds the key to your happiness.

It’s been a long time ago, but I still remember how it felt: the sense of groundness, solidness. The feeling of having come together, of a void within being filled at last. Filled with me.

Now I am complete, I thought. Now I am solid, now I have gravity, now I can feel how my feet planted solidly upon the earth. Now I feel like myself, I thought at that moment. The moment when I accepted my pain, when I embraced my trauma, when I acknowledged my anger, my hatred, my spite and my fear.

In that moment I felt my form rounding up, all the empty disowned places filling up with content, with meaning. In that moment I understood myself. I owned myself. I was myself.